Is it ever going to be okay again?

How to deal with life changing grief or drastic life events with the idea that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

“Only the present moment contains life”

“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.”

-Thich Nhat Hanh

That morning, 11/1/2018. My life changed for ever, for better or worse I have no idea. To this day I still could not tell you, because on one side, I would do anything to have my father back, but also I would never go back to being the person I was before I lost him. Additionally I have noticed that recently I have a connection with him spiritually that I had not had for a very long time. For me that was not achieved through going to speak to people, praying for signs, or even trying a god damn Ouija board. It was after my best friend/girlfriend Clare gifted me a book called, Peace Is Every Step, by Ticht Nhat Hanh. This book allowed me to stop spilling my energy outward, but instead focusing on self reflection. This self reflection led to me finally being able to find myself in the mist of this massive storm. When I found myself though, it was like finding a flower that had some how, someway, continued to grow under terrible growing conditions. Turns out, flowers can still bloom while you’re away, but you’ll never notice that, if you never go back to find them. Well I was able to find my flower, I can tell you that there were times and there still are times that joy and happiness seemed like precious medals in my family. At times we never knew if we would find happiness again. Well I can tell you I’ve created what I call my happiness wheel. I call it a wheel, not for a specific reason, but because if I turn it or spin it, it lands on something I love. It consists of people, music/art, and animals; the over arching value above these though is adventure. This allows me to adventure with people and relationships, adventure through music like going and buying a ton of $1 records and sifting through the ones that look funny and good with my brother, then testing them out, and adventuring with dogs like how I walked and dog sat over 20 different dogs this summer. Consider me Indiana Jones, Matt Best edition, because I will never stop adventuring; you shouldn’t either!

-Matt Best

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